I’ve always believed that second chances are a gift. Those chances allow us the opportunity to right a wrong, reflect upon our chosen path and learn from our mistakes.
But I’ve never felt the need for a second life.
Evidently there are various online communities where you can have a second life. For a price, you can become anything you want to be and there really aren’t any societal rules as to how you live your online life.
One of the sites, secondlife.com, offers you the opportunity to reinvent yourself. If you ever wanted to become a doctor, an entrepreneur, model, or wanted to live in a mansion, be a boss to numerous people, or live an otherwise unreachable lifestyle, you can have all of that with a few clicks on the keyboard for a small fee.
In fact, I just read an online Wall Street Journal article at about a man who was married only seven months ago and decided to try on a second life. The only problem is that he found a virtual second life wife.
Of course, he told his real world wife that contrary to the online ceremony, there was nothing “real” in the relationship, despite her many protestations otherwise.
Much to the chagrin of his wife, he took virtual exotic vacations with his online wife, made a home with her, made virtual whoopee and explored the world. These are things that most real time couples dream of.
So the question the wife wanted asked was if his relationship with his virtual wife constituted cheating.
Personally, I don’t define cheating as simply doing “the act.” I believe a breach of trust in the relationship can happen the minute a spouse shares an emotional intimacy with anyone.
Call me old-fashioned, but telling another personal secrets in a relationship context, whether it be virtual or not, is an unfaithfulness of sorts. I guess it’s a matter of degrees.
Not only was this man having a relationship outside the boundaries of his marriage, but that relationship, whether “real” or not, was taking away from the one he had with his real time wife.
She was left to watch TV and serve him meals in his computer room (which frequently grew cold) while he was cavorting with his other “wife.”
Her feelings and pride were hurt, and rightfully so. She no longer had the luxury of sharing a meal with her husband at the kitchen table, nor did she have the comfort of him beside her when she went to bed as he was still on the computer building a life with his virtual wife.
I get that technology has grown; In fact, I recently read that every 13 months we are doubling our technological knowledge.
That is absolutely astounding and boggles my mind as I try to calculate where we will be in 10 years when it comes to technology.
But when you swap a real and tangible relationship for a virtual relationship, you have to wonder what you are lacking in your life that you feel the need to do so.
Despite the growth in technology, I’m fairly certain that it will never, at least not in my lifetime, outshine the comfort and companionship of a real life relationship.
There’s something to be said about the human touch, the ability to look deep into someone’s eyes when having a conversation, or a simple, comfortable, companionship in those quiet times we share with our significant other.
I know it’s tempting to virtually become someone who we might aspire to be, but I would never trade my real life for anything in the world.