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Living in the moment

Castlegar News bi-weekly columnist resolves to devote more time and effort to what's most important to her

The older I get, the more I realize I am not all grown up now and I can still find life lessons if I choose to open my mind and explore things beyond their face value. I realize life itself is a lesson and thus learning is critical in working toward being a happy and well-adjusted person.

One of the most recent grown-up discoveries I made is that I am not always in the moment. I’m the kind of person who usually has her next step on the mind and so I overlook the golden opportunities and moments which make up our lives.

This hit home a couple of weeks ago. My brother was at my sister’s home visiting with his two sisters and our spouses. We had a great day swimming in the pool and just generally enjoying each other’s company. We shared lots of laughs and childhood memories. It was a perfect day. The opportunity for the three of us to be together is rare, and so it was a special time, indeed.

It finally became time for me and my husband to leave. Knowing I would be back to see my brother and sister in a couple of days, the parting was easy. I gave them both a hug, a kiss and whispered “I love you” to both of them, fully confident that I would see them again.

Had I had known it was the last time I would see my brother for over six months, I am certain I would have lingered a little and made that parting extra special. But, instead, those last few minutes I wasn’t fully in the moment. Being the planner that I am, I was already thinking ahead to the longish drive home and the freeway we would be traveling. Although I was physically present, I was far from being fully present, mind, body and soul.

But I didn’t know. Instead of seeing my brother in a couple of days, I was informed a couple of days later that he had an emergency family situation in his Seattle home to deal with and had to fly back home. I never did get to say a proper goodbye to him.

It was then I recognized my failure to be in the moment, not just that moment, but the many moments in life. The moments which are never duplicated, the moments which enrich our lives and frame our fondest memories.

What if that last moment with my brother was truly my last moment with him? What if I never had another chance to say a proper goodbye to him? Or to my sister, for that matter?

What about those other moments with those I care about? What if those were my last moments with them?

It was with great sadness I realized that many opportunities have passed me by and I have miserably failed to treat each and every precious moment with the respect and attention they deserve.

No, my brother didn’t die, but he could. It could be tomorrow, next month, next year or years from now. But that’s not the point.

If I’m lucky I will see him this fall, and we will have many wonderful times and create more beautiful memories.

Until then, I have the duty to myself and to those who love me, to learn to live in the moment and to learn how to savour the minutes and seconds of life. It’s incumbent that I do, for in doing so, I not only honour myself, but more so, I honour those whom I love.