Off the Line: The pearls … oops, perils of autocorrect

I’m really not sure if I should admit this, but (ssshhh!!!!) I liked school. Well, most of it anyway.

Karen Haviland

 

I’m really not sure if I should admit this, but (ssshhh!!!!) I liked school. Well, most of it anyway.

The smell of chalk, sack lunches, wet, wooly clothing and ink was enough to send my young senses reeling. For some reason or another, I’m not sure if it is genetics, a natural leaning towards learning or my parents’ steady reminders that dictionaries are there for a purpose, but I especially loved spelling.

In fact, I can remember those ever popular spelling bees (well, popular to me, anyway) where I would wait with baited breath to be called up to the podium. Marching proudly to the front the organizer would clearly enunciate my chosen word.

“Ergonomics,” said the organizer.

“Ergonomics,” I repeated, followed by, “E-r-g-o-n-o-m-i-c-s,” no fear causing my voice to waiver.

For a habitual underachiever (quite honestly, I just didn’t care enough to make much of an effort unless it really interested me) the taste of usual victory at the podium was sweet as honeysuckles on a fresh spring day.

And so, as you can see, words have always intrigued me. They truly do occupy a special place in my life.

This is why I find autocorrect so funny.

Prior to getting my cell phone a month or so ago, I spell checked the old fashioned way — with the help of Google. Okay, I hope you get the sideways humour in that prior sentence.

Anyway, my point is that I never relied on simple typing to correctly spell a word. That is, until Samsung S6.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that there is intuitive text in which the computer logically guesses what you are likely to write next and then supplies you with the word or the phrase it believes you will use.

Quickly clueing on to this after a couple of embarrassing texts, I went about the business of teaching the Mr. the INDICATIONS: And outs

(Ha, ha – see above? That is exactly what I mean about intuitive text. What I actually wrote was “I went about the business of teaching the Mr. the ins and outs of his cell phone.”)

Now, the Mr. always was a hunt-and-peck kind of guy at the very best. When you have big hands and thus big fingers, the odds of hitting the right key is likely about 50/50.

So when Mr. Smarty Pants discovered that his text function allowed for verbal dictation he was off and running. Yeah, I’m sure you can see where I am going with this. You know, don’t you? Remember those postings about epic autocorrect fails? We’ve all seen them. Well, yup, here’s another one to add to the list.

I was in dialysis and during those days it has become a comforting habit for Mr. Smarty Pants and I to text each other. The other day he planned to do a little bit of mowing, but discovered that he was out of gas. So then he decided to do some whipper snipping but discovered the weather wasn’t cooperating.

Relaying this to me (using voice to text option, I am sure) I had to laugh when I read his text. Actually, I laughed so loudly the nurses peeked their heads out at me to make sure I was okay.

This is what he wrote:

Him: “Yes, it was good. So much for going and slipper sniffing. Slippers! That is supposed to say whipper sniffing!! Whipper snipping!!! It’s peeing (I am using the nicer word here) out rave. That is supposed to say rain!”

By the time I got through his text the tears were rolling down my eyes as I imagined him slipper sniffing, wondering which pair of my slippers were in peril.

I’m still smiling as I type this. Thank goodness for times like that when technology can actually add to our life if even in such small ways.

Now, I’m off in search of my husband who is likely sniffing slippers in some dark corner.

 

Just Posted

Pacific Insight to close in April

The remaining employees at the Nelson automotive manufacturing facility to be laid off

RCMP bike patrol coming to Castlegar

The pair of bicycles will be from a local shop and cost over $6,000 each.

Castlegar orders new fire truck to replace engine, rescue vehicle

The 2020 vehicle was purchased for about $750,000

Snow hosts available to help you explore the Rossland Range

Safe and responsible way to learn about Rossland Recreation Site

Trail cannabis shop gets green light from province

The Higher Path hopes to open doors in next couple of weeks

B.C. storm totals $37M in insured damages

The December storm wreaked havoc on B.C.’s south coast

Body of Canadian miner found after African kidnapping

Kirk Woodman’s body was discovered 100 kilometres from the site where he worked for Progress Mineral Mining Company in Burkina Faso

Study finds more than half of food produced in Canada wasted

The study released Thursday is the world’s first to measure food waste using data from industry and other sources instead of estimates

Snowed-in Austrian nuns insist they’re staying put

Authorities have deployed heavy equipment to clear snow and fallen trees blocking the road to the monastery

Chiasson nets shootout winner as Oilers edge Canucks 3-2

Edmonton moves one point ahead of Vancouver

B.C. chief says they didn’t give up rights for gas pipeline to be built

Hereditary chief: no elected band council or Crown authority has jurisdiction over Wet’suwet’en land

Condo rental bans may be on way out with B.C. empty home tax

Many exemptions to tax, but annual declarations required

UPDATE: B.C. boy, aunt missing for three days

The pair are missing from Kamloops

Daredevil changes game plan to jump broken White Rock pier

Brooke Colby tells council daredevil event would help boost waterfront business

Most Read